www.bash.org Wednesday, November 29, 2006 |
Rabidplaybunny87: Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me
GarbageStan23: why?
Rabidplaybunny87: Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s'mores and all... and suddenly we here sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us.
Rabidplaybunny87: So we all went running to see what was up, and our neigbor's house was on fire!
GarbageStan23: oh shit!
Rabidplaybunny87: Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever
Rabidplaybunny87: Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire....
Rabidplaybunny87: talk about bad timing...
"DragonflyBlade21: A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired."
So true.
"The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?"
Who knows what it is in store for me, right now I'm at a loss. Actually I'm more worried, because I can't see anything happening for me, and running the same cycle everyday will depress me. So I need something to happen, anything at all will do, as long as it's exciting to gain my attention for a few weeks.
No one else will know these lonely dreams
Have you ever made something more than it is? Built something up in your head, only to be let down? Two years ago if I felt what I am now, I would have acted on these emotions, but I've learned enough to know that this is just a stage in loneliness. It's a useless attempt to comfort myself just by understanding it, but it's also a useless attempt to discuss it in a blog that no one other than myself reads, but I still do it. I'm not sure what I'm hoping for, I think my state of mind is that if I get through today maybe tomorrow will be better. Well? Will it?
If someone recorded your thoughts and broadcast them on national television, what do you think people would think? My thoughts travel back and forth from every possible spectrum in the blink of an eye. I think I would scare most of the country, anger the rest, and there would be that one lonely guy up in the Yukon knodding his head saying to himself that he thinks the exact same things.
I needed affection today, and I looked for it in the wrong place. I feel terrible for taking advantage of a friendship, if it were anyone else I wouldn't have allowed myself, but somewhere in my head the jackass takes over. It's the jackass that lives inside everyone, it's the power tripping side, the side comes out when you have an advantage. But I just felt lonely, when you wake up in the morning and can't think of any reason to get up except to go to work, you just need someone. But since I never have anyone there I live my life by spontaneity, I go out looking for something to jump out at me. For example, today I bought a birthday gift. I had little money beforehand, and have no money now, but I did it to give me something to do. I didn't go out looking for a gift either, I just went looking. Do you think it's a coincidence that after using the last of my money on an impulse gift, I get to work to recieve a 'vacation paycheck'?
"There is no such thing as coincidence, only the illusion of coincidence." -V for Vendetta
I guess I don't really need to commit to someone, I just need to commit to the idea. The idea of having someone to go to when I feel bad, and someone to console when they need it. It's human instinct to look for someone, and who am I to defy science?
I told you I'd go to the end of the world for you, and that still stands
Maybe this time it will work out, maybe this time I'll be happy, or discover happiness for myself. Maybe this I'll find a content relation with myself and the rest of the world. Maybe I'll put effort into getting up in the morning, maybe this time I'll have a reason to get up in the morning. Maybe this time it won't only be a maybe.
It was more yellowish in photoshop =\
Actual pic:
I just couldnt pull off a good "Knowledge is power!" shot, plus you can't see the bottom with states 'E=MC^2' (actually squared).
Labels: moi
I need to get a grasp on myself. I've been so bored lately I let infactuation take over. Nothing new has happened, no more than it ever does. Been dragging my feet in school, I'm failing english with a 45% as of now. It's not a suprise to me, I'll pull it up.
It's in you, it's in me, powers that be.
Screw lust. I hate being envious and jealous of my friends, I hate wanting what they have. I've been denying something for a while now, hoping it would just go away. It didn't, and it's back, and I have to deal with it again. Luckily I can control myself.
You will never be smitten over me.
Deviation of the Day
Tchii by ComediaAquarelleLabels: Deviation
Sure I could whine. I mean that's what I do, I complain, I complain to my friends that I need a friend. Someone who gives a damn and answers aren't all the same. Someone who can handle what I say, and not blow me off because they don't want to talk about, or someone who genuinely wants to hang out with me from time to time.
Or I could tough up and be a man about it.
It's not directed to anyone in specific. I just know that my friends have their own lives, they don't have time to care. Everyday I walk to school, I see these two brothers walking, always side by side, everyday. They're in the same grade, they probably do alot of stuff together. I have no one like that, I have no one that shares my life.
I'm glad I'm not a party person. I went over to a party that a few people I know we having, and I just don't have fun. Sitting around in a smokey basement drinking your asses off. But then again I'm probably wrong, I mean if so many people enjoy doing it, it has to be fun right?
Hm, I'm stuck in a cycle. I since i've been losing some friends, I'm stuck hanging out with the same people, and well it doesn't bother me, it will bother them. Oh well, time to go be nice and make friends.
Sadly it will never be what I want, and always have hoped for it to be. There will never be a midnight confession, she will never say she has loved me all along, and I will never admit the truth to her. There will be no fairy tale, just a monotonous narration. I will never have the permission to look at her the way I want to, or the courage to caress her hand. It was never meant for me anyways.
We never know if we're winning in the game called life. There is no scoreboard to reveal the points to us, there is no clock counting down the seconds until the buzzer. The time we spend playing is up to us, how much we enjoy it is equivilant to how hard we try. This last month or so has been interesting, I'm not going to say it was good or bad. It had it's moments, and I don't regret doing anything I did. I don't regret anything anyways.
She looked at me with those pitying eyes
I hate to say I have no best friend. There is no one who is truly my best friend anymore, it's not that I don't have friends, I have plenty. In my mind I have a best friend, but I've called someone a bestfriend before, when they didn't return it.
I can't stand the thoughts that run through my head anymore
Brick
I watched the independent film Brick tonight, and I really loved it. It had alot of emotion, and it dragged you into the atmostphere. I will admit that the audio wasn't always what it should have been, or maybe i just didn't understand what they were saying, but that's besides the point because that added appeal. The main character was a mix of everything, he wore cowboy boots, but had long hair. He wore a big jacket dug his hands so far in his pockets that it appeared he was hiding something. And his face alone reminds me of this other actor i've seen, and Harry Potter. It may have been the hair and glasses, but you could definitely see the Potter.
Regular days of my regular life, I'm never going to get excitement. There will never be an adventure, there will never be gun fights, or damsels in distress. There will be my room, my old familiar room. My job, that I loathe to go to. My friends, who will always be in question, and always think me less of them. It's all too ordinary.
I'm too tired to sleep.
I've always hated my hands, to the extent that you can hate something. And as I grow older, I just start staring at them, like a corpse I found on my doorstep.
Hmm, since I bought The Darkness cd, I've really come to love them. The singer is really good, he can pull off these amazingly high pitches, and it's simple, simple groove. Also, the lyrics are great, i guess romantic is a good term to use.
The state of elation that this unison of hearts achieved. I had seen, I had touched, I had tasted and I truly believed. - Love is only a feeling - The Darkness
I'm glad I'm back to the way I was during the summer. Once again I have achieved a state where I don't care anymore. Strange how a girl (or boy) can change your whole state of mind for a while. I found another webcomic, actually two, I'm always looking if you didn't know. Creatures in my Head, and Templar, Arizona. I've haven't looked at many creatures, but I'm in the middle of reading Templar. It's pretty good as far as I can tell. It's got a neat art style.
Just listen to the rythem of my heart
And reading a webcomic makes me want to make my own, but I don't have a plot! But I guess I'm not getting anywhere by sitting around not trying, so maybe if I have nothing to do today I'll sketch a few concepts. Which I know I will hate, and then I'll get frustrated with myself and quit, just to repeat the process a month from now.
What'cha say what'cha say wha!?
How I could just kill a man. Last few days have been wicked endless fun. Innocence is not a key factor, nor discussable. It has been a blur, the only thing i can remember is the smile on my face. I hate secrets, I hate having to censor myself for other peoples well being, so they don't get uncomfortable, because some people can't handle what i have to say. I want to scream everything from the rooftops, i want to let everyone know what I'm thinking only beause it's not important.
I want to kiss you every minute every hour every day
The devine emotion. It makes you wonder how many other people you will share it with, or how many other people you can. I only have friend that I know of that I can honestly say I share the feeling. What's that feeling? What's the devine emotion? Comfort, and it is expressed with a smile. Someone who no matter what will always be there for you, you can be rude, and you be loving, you can put them off for a month and when you pick back up you're just as tight as you were when you left. Not everyone is priveliged to have that friend, but that's because they're afraid of that emotion. They're afraid what people will think if they admit they're that tied to someone. I shout it out, I don't censor what I think, if I have a friend that close to me, i let them know, I tell them as much as possible. I tell everyone I love as much as possible, but if they can't handle it, then I won't. Some people just can't handle my love for them.
Loosen up, because I know you can
Just like that crappy mood chart i did, my emotions change like the snapping of fingers, yesterday I hate everything, now I love everything. That is all.
I belive in a thing called love
Oh yeah, and I bought The Darkness cd.
