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Is it childish? Tuesday, March 13, 2007 |

I just don't know anymore

I wouldn't put effort into this if I didn't care Monday, March 12, 2007 |

Maybe it's just vainity, or maybe it's just the fact that I really want to get the point across. You've fucked me over four ways from Friday, and the fact that I express some interest in losing a best friend is not my fault. I try to make means and be friends again, but you, or should I say he, won't let that. There have been many, many people who have told me just to kick his ass, butI refuse to do that without confrontation. I'm not the bad guy here, all I've done is cared for something that has slipped from my grasp, pardon me, something that was ripped out from my grasp. You enjoy being my friend, you always have and if you ever pull your head out of your ass and look around at the world you just might in the future. If everyone agrees except you, how can you say that they are wrong? We all see it, why can't you? You've changed for the worst, into a horrible person who doesn't care about anyone but yourself.

Of course you'll say "Whatever, I'm a selfish bitch" and take pride in it, but you know you don't like it. You don't like being the person people raise their noses at, or someone who is constantly being dissed behind their back, it's not a nice feeling. Come out of that bubble filled with your own demise, look around, see what you've lost, long term and short term. And for what, half of what anyone else can give you? Just because people laugh and smile along with your fake smiles doesn't mean theirs aren't fake either. At first we understood this little play of yours, the scenes flowed seemlesslely into one another, but we've grown bored, it's the same thing over and over again, the dilaogue hasn't changed, and we're getting angry that we have to sit here and watch this fucking pile of rubbish. Get your shit together before you lose it and everyone who loved you.

I'm trying, i'm doing my best. Monday, March 05, 2007 |

No, that's a lie. I'm trying to do something I can't accomplish. I'm trying to break myself out of the mold, everyday life. And no, I don't mean that I should start doing something a little different, I mean I should completely change myself and see life for what it is. This comic...


...the more I read the more it makes me want to do just that. Stop being afraid of not uncomforting everyone else. I want to be out going, he's right, everyday we face a million possibilites, we could do anything that day, we could change someone's life, but we decide to stay with the same routine, same job, same girlfriend or boyfriend, same life. Look outside the box people!

I come in to this little square (you know, this place where my text lays into) expecting to write something longwinded and profound, but the second my fingers hit the keyboard blood drizzles down from my ear and I crap my pants. My goodness, it's not even worth trying anymore.