And now I will go on like I always do, a smile that won't crack. If my smile breaks, and even have a moment of self doubt, or anger, then all of a sudden im a bad person. Im obsessive, or not being a friend, heaven forbid i care for someone.

Emotions snowball. I was at the top of the hill tonight, having a grand old time. The one little slip in emotion and i'm tumbling down the hill. I keep picking up snow and now I'm angrier than I have been in a long time. I'm sick of everything that happens to me. It's so miniscule yet so important.

How can you care for someone so much but not get anything in return, it's not even plausible.

“’The winter loves me,” he retorted, and the, disliking the whimsical sound of that, added, “I mean as much as you can say a season can love. What I mean is, I love winter, and when you really love something, then it loves you back, in whatever way it has to love.”’ - John Knowles, A Seperate Peace