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Just the profound writing of the unfound youth

You could see the fear in his eyes... it couldn't be real, it can't be real!

Just a venting session...

You're climbing up stairs, and you're making your way to the top, but you miss a step. You slip, but you keep going. You miss another, this time you fall backwards, and then you fall down, you tumble down... you wake up a few minutes later, not able to recall what happened. You know you fell, you were up there and now you're down here, but what happened? That analogy (yes I know it's weak) is what I'm feeling lately. Two weeks ago I was happy. I don't know what it was that made me happy, i was just happy, then something happened, I don't know what that was either (noticing a pattern?) and now things have progressively been getting worse.

Now technically, no, things actually have been great. And I keep saying that to myself, but it can't be great, if it's great, why do I feel so shitty? I was angry for most of yesterday, angry at everything and everyone. No one notices though, and I'm wondering if that's because I'm a good actor, or because no one cares.

Nothing is for certain. Nothing is for certain, and never trust your feelings. If you feel something is going well, that what you're doing is right, then you're wrong. Everything you do is wrong, and turn you make is the wrong one and everything you say is the wrong thing to say. Or, maybe thats just me.

I guess all I can do is turn on some blues, put my mask back on and go out there a pretend to be whatevery one wants me to be, and what I want myself to be.

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